Coach Curly's Manly Bitching
Yeah I'm back... Let me start off on a non-cycling, personal note. Now Mrs. Curly is expecting a little Curly...and Coach Curly understands that he needs to be a little more forgiving... a little more "understanding". So what I'm about to say comes from Curly's heart. I'm ready for the following items to be over with:
- Forgetful shopping trips where the "Peanut Butter Balls" are remembered but 5 Coach Curly lunches are not
- Food left out on the counter... and the couch... and the mantel... and the bedroom
- Cupboard doors and drawers left open... just an inch or two or three.. it makes the kitchen look like we have a poltergeist
- Washing Coach Curly's whites and darks together
- Putting Curly's kits in the dryer... "lycra and heat" go together like "lamb and tuna fish"
- Every T.V. in the house being left on with it's own light source
- Done with the phrase..."I'm growing a baby" when it's time to change a poopy diaper
Coach Curly Predictions for 2007
Now you know I love the PROS... so I'm gonna give you a little insight into who will be going well in 2007.
Top Stage Racers
Tyler Hamilton (Giro)
Ivan Basso (TdF)
Levi Leipheimer (ToC)
Jan Ullrich... HA! Just kidding
Chris Horner (Paris Nice)
Andrew Martin (PRO palette cleanser)
Top One Day Fellers
Dave Zabriskie (anything involving tt bars, coffee bars or power bars)
Tom Boonen (anything with Cobbles)
Danilo Hondo (anything with a bunch sprint)
Fabian Cancellara (anything with a breakaway in the final 20km)
Magnus Backstedt (anything that features "drafting a derny")
Northwest Racing
Kenny Williams (anything with a finish line)
James Stangeland (anything TT to be followed with a tandem dessert)
Mike Pruitt (anything with rocks, ruts, cobbles, stones, dust, dirt and a stream across the course)
Andrew Martin (anything with a breakaway where he feels he's contributed enough to sprint from a moral standpoint)
Jonny Sundt (anything where zipping up his jersey for the final lap seems like the cocky thing to do)
So there you have it... Curly's Picks. Next week, I'll tell you which ladies will clean up in the PRO and local pelotons and which Master's will be the shiznit. Now git... times a wastin' and you've blown off enough time readin' this crap.
Oh... and if you're thinking about how Ol' Curly will be paying for his comments in the beginning... he already is... he already is... tight shorts on a Tuesday morning trainer session can make anyone a little cranky.
8 comments:
O.A.D. sure saw that one coming; lucky he gets on the internet before me in the morning! But hey, I think my cat would like lamb and tuna fish way better than my lycra likes the dryer. Nice insights on the NW riders....
O.A.D... you have no excuse to be baggin' out of poopy diapers cuz you're "growing a baby"... that's BS.If I'm commited to cleaning the toilet bowl regularly and putting the seat down...? I didn't even add the part about dumping food clippings and veggie crap in our "no disposal" sink so I have to clean it out... no, I won;t bring that up. Damned tight shorts!
O.A.D. has his priorities: better to surf the internet all evening and do the dishes at 9:30 than to take a look at the noisy crank that's probably going to fall off my bike on my ride home today. He did kind of wash the car this weekend, though....
See, Curly, now you're going to be the cause of our marriage breaking up! Then I'll loose my job because of surfin the net. I'm a broken man! And addicted to nyquil too.
I take that back, our marriage is good, Jamie won't fit on our Tandem, so she has to keep me!
It's the job of cranks to make noise on a rain bike.
I have been known to clean the toilet bowl one in a while!
Can I clean up in the Masters cats too....oh wait...no.
Andrew, Weren't you already told, you're not OAD...yet! You could create the "convienent for Andrew" category, and clean up in that ; -)
hmmm... Andrew, weren't you commenting on my inability to let the CYCA's typos go? I think others have carried things on longer...
I'm just preparing myself for the fact that the year I turn 35...they will bump it to 40.
I'm never going to spend a summer Saturday afternoon at home again. I should probably start explaining now to Jackson that I won't be able to make it to his T-Ball game because of the inflexible WSBA.
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