Coach Curly's Ride Recipe Roundup Finale!

Today's assignment... 39x21, ride for 2 hours at 160 rpms and no damned bouncing!

Alrighty... So today is the day for the results of Coach Curly's Ride Recipe Roundup. You're not gonna like this, but we will have no winner. You'll understand why when you read the submissions for "recipes" below. Originally, the plan was to take the recipes, organize them, and have them published in a cookbook. Coach Curly would then sell that cookbook with the proceeds going to Northwest Harvest. As you'll see we gots no damned recipes... We may have enough material for a coffee table book called "What's in the Jersey Pocket".... and we just might do that. Anyways... your recipes sucked harder than a newborn colt at it's mother's teat. Just being truthful folks.

Now some of you are saying to yourselves, "But Curly, if only you had told me, I may have done a better job" or "Sorry, Coach Curly... I'll do better next time" and to that I'll say "Shut your damned ClifHole. You had your chance." So let's look at the crap you came up with... let's enjoy the cowpucks you called ride recipes.

Stokerdiam (Seattle, WA)
Back in the day, Old As Dirt used to carry Christmas cake wrapped in tinfoil in his jersey pockets. And I think he'll tell you that on a cold, rainy ride, brandy in a flask beats water in a bottle hands down! Do ya really need a recipe, lads?
Curly Comment ~ OAD, stop having your podium girl do your blogging. Bollocks!

Andrew Martin (Bothell, WA)
2 slices white bread
Some Jelly (Raspberry)
More Peanut Butter (Crunchy)
You can ride all day on shit.
Curly Comment ~ Intern Martaint, eating shit will give you worms and eColi... in that order.

Asst. Coach Draper (Seattle, WA)
ham & jelly sandwich on hole wheat with butter.
oh, and a Starbucks Doubleshot
Curly Comment ~ add a shot of Bourbon to that PRO lineup and I think you're golden.

R Anderson (Des Moines, WA)
2 waffles
Peanut butter
Banana, mashed and mixed with honey
Make sandwich… eat
Curly Comment ~ RA, You started out strong and then petered out... much like your racing.

jon ryan (Seattle WA...submitted from Bend, OR)
Beef Jerky and Jim Beam flavored ClifBlocks.
Curly Comment ~ JR, this is why we keep your no-readin'-the-directions-ass in the back...away from the customers. #1 that ain't real... and B... it taint a recipe.

Wendy P (Seattle, WA)
Fig Newtons
English Muffin with peanut butter and honey
Banana

D. Muller (San Francisco, CA)
Organic Wheat Baguette
Banana smashed and mixed with Organic peanut butter
Lavendar honey
Wrap tidily with foil for neatness
Curly Comment ~ jeesus H... you wear a skirt while you ride?

TDog (Bellingham, WA)
I am fine with eating a Clif bar asshole
Curly Comment ~ I like your style TDog... however, I'm not familiar with Clif Bar Assholes... are those like Clif Blox or Langendorf Donut holes?

Claudia T (Paris, France)
Since I’m Italian, I like nutella spread on a panini
cut into pieces and put in a bag.
Curly Comment ~ Nice work darlin'... that's fancy talk for chocolate and bread... let's try using English next time.

Oliver Theurzeit (Düsseldorf, Germany)
Hey Curly... I eat sausage and drink beer on my rides.
Just like in high school... when we used to go to McDonalds for lunch, buy a large coke, drink half and fill the rest with Rum for 5th period... good times. When you coming back to Düsseldorf so we can drink too much and then take the Audi out for spin?
Curly Comment ~ Ixnay on the Umray... I have students watching... to answer your question...soon, and yes.

Burton (Portland, OR)
Sandwich with ham and cream cheese (eaten in first hour)
Fig Newtons (for maintenance)
Nilla Wafers (at mid ride break)
Sandwich with Ham and Honey (for end of ride)
Chocolate milk (after ride)
Curly Comment ~ That looks to me like a 5-course meal... do you ride on your rides or just eat?

Phil V (Boulder, CO)
Fig Newtons… always
Bananas… always
Curly Comment ~ Ride food from 1986...

Mike H (Seattle, WA)
I eat the Curly way. Hard-boiled egg, meat sandwich, cream cheese rollups, chicken breast
Water
Curly Comment ~ brown noser...

Signore Antonio Ferarra (Ravello, Italy)
This time of year… Slices of Panetone with peanut butter
coke (flat if possible). During the summer... Mozzarella di bufala, tomate on a panini and grilled before I leave the house. Limoncello that I make... about 2 ml per bidon
Curly Comment ~ Make that Limno-whatchahoosit into Bourbon and I'd say we wuz twins.

Alright... that was fun... As a supplement to today's floater of wisdom, I thought I'd share a little background on ol' Curly... Here's a little nugget of fun that some of you might recognize and enjoy.

Coach Curly began cycling to get into better shape and to cross train for his steer rustlin'. He made a successful move from the range to road. In 1990 when he reach 250 lbs and didn't feel too good about himself, he turned that around and has had a very successful coaching career since.

Now that sounds like something Curly might say huh? Thanks a pantload to those that sent something in... it's a start. See you on Monday folks where we'll try something new. Now git... and have a ride or two... and ride slow for pete's sake... it's the weekend... and watch out for drunk riders... they'll be out there in force.