Damn You Horner!

Howdy biker fellers and fellas... It's Ol' Curly once again and he's just a bit pissed off. I want that damned Horner to win like you wouldn't believe. He has all of the know-how, the ability, the gumption... he just can't deliver the goods. I had a slight glimmer of hope in my mind that when he said that Dekker would win the TT and he would be top 5 that he was just feeding the press some garbage before spittin' in the eye of his competition... but hell no... he was tellin' the truth... Just win dangit! Ever since Ol' Horner came thundering down the streets of Seattle on his way to win the Microsoft Grand Prix... and then got off the bike at the line and did an Alexi Grewal... I knew he was destined to put on a show... Where's the show varmint? Well... at any rate... he's from Oregon and that counts for something.

Now on to the host country. This ain't no tourist board sponsored post neither. I gotta hand it to the Swiss (once again) those wishy washy, money grubbin' bastards would sell their own mothers if it meant makin' a buck to squirrell away in their already full banks. They let Unibet in their race. Now Ol' Curly likes that Unibet raced, but ain't that like the Swiss to be so "neutral" that they end up makin' a statement in the process...? A whole mess of other countries have jumped on the political issue of internet gamblin' now too... but not Ol' Switzerland. I 'spose they have a duty seein' that the UCI headquarters is in Aigle. Alright... I'll focus on the positive... Switzerland does have some damned fine cheeses, some of the finest cows, a helluva good stash of wines, fondue, watches, lakes, churches and such... and they all speak like 5 languages out of the womb.

Well I'll be a hootenhollerer... I just realized that track starts this week. Pre-Season... that is... and it's gonna be nice I hears. Actually, Ol' Curly has a crick in his neck and a sore elbow... that means it's gonna be sunny when that starts happenin'. Ol' Curly's granny had the same gift fer predicting the weather... Ahhh... Ol' Curly's granny... I'll have to tell you the story about how Curly's Uncle burned down Curly's granny's house back in the 40's... another time.

BASSO - You stupid SOB. First you weasel out of the initial investigation. Then you act like a victim when Bjarne (who doped mind you... according to T-Mobile Dr.s) canned your ass... then you take a job with Discovery (who trusted that you weren't a liar)... then you do absolutely nothing this season... then you quit... and now you admit to being a doper and involved with the biggest doping scandal since the East German (wo)men swimmers grew penises from all of the steroids and crap... Shame on you dude... shame on you. You look like a jackass and even if you do come back you'll always be a prosciutto-eatin' lying bastard.

XoXoXo,
Love, Curly

Yer Trainin': I want you to start out doing sprints and then end up doing some low intensity endurance work... this'll help you be a wishy washy bastard like the Swiss... you never know when they're hirin' and you'll need experience.