CCD Round 2

Coach Curly's Manly Bitching
Yeah I'm back... Let me start off on a non-cycling, personal note. Now Mrs. Curly is expecting a little Curly...and Coach Curly understands that he needs to be a little more forgiving... a little more "understanding". So what I'm about to say comes from Curly's heart. I'm ready for the following items to be over with:

• Forgetful shopping trips where the "Peanut Butter Balls" are remembered but 5 Coach Curly lunches are not
• Food left out on the counter... and the couch... and the mantel... and the bedroom
• Cupboard doors and drawers left open... just an inch or two or three.. it makes the kitchen look like we have a poltergeist
• Washing Coach Curly's whites and darks together
• Putting Curly's kits in the dryer... "lycra and heat" go together like "lamb and tuna fish"
• Every T.V. in the house being left on with it's own light source
• Done with the phrase..."I'm growing a baby" when it's time to change a poopy diaper

Coach Curly Predictions for 2007
Now you know I love the PROS... so I'm gonna give you a little insight into who will be going well in 2007.

Top Stage Racers
Tyler Hamilton (Giro)
Ivan Basso (TdF)
Levi Leipheimer (ToC)
Jan Ullrich... HA! Just kidding
Chris Horner (Paris Nice)
Andrew Martin (PRO palette cleanser)

Top One Day Fellers
Dave Zabriskie (anything involving tt bars, coffee bars or power bars)
Tom Boonen (anything with Cobbles)
Danilo Hondo (anything with a bunch sprint)
Fabian Cancellara (anything with a breakaway in the final 20km)
Magnus Backstedt (anything that features "drafting a derny")

Northwest Racing
Kenny Williams (anything with a finish line)
James Stangeland (anything TT to be followed with a tandem dessert)
Mike Pruitt (anything with rocks, ruts, cobbles, stones, dust, dirt and a stream across the course)
Andrew Martin (anything with a breakaway where he feels he's contributed enough to sprint from a moral standpoint)
Jonny Sundt (anything where zipping up his jersey for the final lap seems like the cocky thing to do)

So there you have it... Curly's Picks. Next week, I'll tell you which ladies will clean up in the PRO and local pelotons and which Master's will be the shiznit. Now git... times a wastin' and you've blown off enough time readin' this crap.

Oh... and if you're thinking about how Ol' Curly will be paying for his comments in the beginning... he already is... he already is... tight shorts on a Tuesday morning trainer session can make anyone a little cranky.

It's Curly Day!!!

Yeah that's right! It's Coach Curly day. You bastards prolly missed old Curly somethin' fierce. Well don't worry about Curly none... he's been busy up in Burnaby watching some of his riders "compete" in the Six-Day up there. I say "compete" cuz they didn't win. Now Curly ain't sayin' winning is everything... He's saying it's the ONLY thing. Why on earth would you ever do a bicycle race unless it was to win? Now some of you might be sayin' "well, Coach Curly... it's the excitement of being in the pack" or "Coach Curly, I can help my teammate git a top 20" I'll say, "BullShit!" What the hell kind of competitive nature is that? There's 2 placings in a bike race... First and everybody else. I gotta laugh at the braggin' sometimes about getting a top 20 or "I was in the first bunch" HA! That makes Curly's taint tickle. Might as well be DFL... or PBTNR (that's Passed By The Next Race" for you slow folk out there). Now I hope you're taking this to heart. Curly ain't sayin' that you shouldn't race your bike unless you can git first. Curly's just sayin' that you'd better not plunk down your $20 and fill out your waiver with the intent of seein' what you can do. Try to win dammit!
Now let's take a look at your training. How's that coming along? Did you finish the 20 hours on the trainer yesterday? If you didn't, then you're a loser. Put the work in. You're prolly sayin' right now "but Coach Curly... it snowed... and it's icy... oh and I have to work" or "Coach Curly... I slipped and fell down the steps" or "Coach Curly... I had to watch alot of Football rather than the sports recaps on the news"...Save It! Go tell your story to the coach you can afford. He'll understand... as long as you keep the sentences short. Ah... now that was offsides. Sorry CYCA... Ol' Curly's just in a bad mood this morning cuz he's been given just one day a week to spray out his verbal diarhea... that, and your "About" page still has some typos and grammar issues (2nd paragraph, 1st and 2nd sentences) and it distracts Curly from seeing what kind of coach you are... cuz deep down, he knows every race you enter, you win... and Curly likes that about you. Now hopefully you'll fix that and start rubbin' off on some of these other "Top 20'ers" around here. Alright... your assignment for today... 5 hours on the trainer and don't let your HR go below 150 or above 149. See you next week where I'll bitch about something else.